This article calls for some reflection.
One of my family members told me that though I have grown, I am still the same boy - one who is going for the next fun thing instead of doing some actual work. And one who is too stubborn to accept that he is wrong.
Though, my tryst with powerlifting was short - I am going to leave it. Bench presses have caused wrist pain, shoulder pain and unidentified pains throughout my arm(with headaches). Squats have caused pain in my lumbar spinal area and knees. Perhaps, overhead presses have done things to my hips that I don’t know.
I have trained for running(a marathon?) - which caused me to fall unconscious and get four head-stitches. Thank goodness, I didn’t break my neck. It seems that physical exertion on that level is not for me.
Post high-school, I have read many things. Books, articles, Quora, online texts and who knows what. Though I have learnt laughably little, I have lost the ability to sleep or gain any pleasure from it. I am always thinking about something - feeling helpless most of the time, as a human can’t solve everything. I am going to cut back on my reading “load”.
Half a decade ago, a girl told me that I am an obsessive person. I kind of ignored her, took her judgement as an insult and tried to push myself even harder. I think she was right all along.
What caused me to push myself so strongly even when I was hurting myself all along? What caused those fun things to become an obsession and then an addiction? I don’t know.
I have to re-think my life(ta-dah!). I will try to regain normal behaviour as expected from humans. I am going to enjoy things judicially and sit back when it hurts.
I am not going to make myself miserable anymore. Muscles, stamina and knowledge are great, but a good life is much better.
I am not going to make myself miserable anymore. Muscles, stamina and knowledge are great, but a good life is much better.
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