Becoming a morally and emotionally well-rounded person should remain one of the goals of adulthood. Otherwise a subset of the results become broken marriages or worse, broken children. The children who are broken grow up to have an unnecessarily miserable life(though such people can heal after a considerable effort).
Narcissism is such a disorder. (There might be genetic endowment.) Psychological research hints at largely environmental factors. Or in other words, the quality of upbringing a child gets in his most sensitive years(age four to age seventeen).
In context of narcissism, the lack of proper nurture doesn’t lie in material comforts but largely in emotional needs. That makes it more subtle. A father brags incessantly about his superior abilities and how his child is an insult to the family name. Or the father might insult his child whenever possible - as if out of spite and frustration. Or even worse, there is a painful punishment reserved for even small wrongdoings. Even the mother can be responsible in some cases - she is far more busy in vanities than focusing on her children.
In an environment of neglect, physical & emotional abuse - the child develops a coping mechanism. He develops an outer image of flawlessness. If he is not flawed, his father won’t remain so angry with him. If he doesn’t seek attention, his father won’t degrade his self-image. If he is admired by everyone, his father would admire him too. But inside, there is a cynical view towards the world. Never trust anyone - if one’s own father can hurt so much - what things can a stranger do? As a result of inherent sensitivity and emotional immaturity, the world does hurt him. The disorder is now in full swing.
Leaving aside the toxic spectrum of narcissists, there are adults who are truly miserable. They have no friends because of trust issues. They have no particular connection with family members. They never initiate relationships or leave at the first chance of something going wrong. They are constantly criticising themselves and their true flaws. They are hollow and bitter from inside.
All because their parents were not properly-made human beings. These parents never became good adults because of their laziness or their own bad childhood. Ad infinitum.
Who is at fault here? The Devil with his charms. A single pact with immorality has the potential to ruin so many lives. Even the lives of one’s own children.
Narcissism is such a disorder. (There might be genetic endowment.) Psychological research hints at largely environmental factors. Or in other words, the quality of upbringing a child gets in his most sensitive years(age four to age seventeen).
In context of narcissism, the lack of proper nurture doesn’t lie in material comforts but largely in emotional needs. That makes it more subtle. A father brags incessantly about his superior abilities and how his child is an insult to the family name. Or the father might insult his child whenever possible - as if out of spite and frustration. Or even worse, there is a painful punishment reserved for even small wrongdoings. Even the mother can be responsible in some cases - she is far more busy in vanities than focusing on her children.
In an environment of neglect, physical & emotional abuse - the child develops a coping mechanism. He develops an outer image of flawlessness. If he is not flawed, his father won’t remain so angry with him. If he doesn’t seek attention, his father won’t degrade his self-image. If he is admired by everyone, his father would admire him too. But inside, there is a cynical view towards the world. Never trust anyone - if one’s own father can hurt so much - what things can a stranger do? As a result of inherent sensitivity and emotional immaturity, the world does hurt him. The disorder is now in full swing.
Leaving aside the toxic spectrum of narcissists, there are adults who are truly miserable. They have no friends because of trust issues. They have no particular connection with family members. They never initiate relationships or leave at the first chance of something going wrong. They are constantly criticising themselves and their true flaws. They are hollow and bitter from inside.
All because their parents were not properly-made human beings. These parents never became good adults because of their laziness or their own bad childhood. Ad infinitum.
Who is at fault here? The Devil with his charms. A single pact with immorality has the potential to ruin so many lives. Even the lives of one’s own children.
